Sunday, June 28, 2009

The Concrete Lady

For the past 20 years, whenever John and I traveled through southern Indiana via I-65, we would pass The Concrete Lady.  This is a magical place that manufactures and sells concrete statuary and lawn ornaments.  What caught my attention all those years ago was a giant polar bear that I wanted with every fiber of my being.  How fun would it be to put that fellow on my deck and dress him up for the holidays?  I don't think that's asking too much, do you?  A certain someone who shall remain nameless (but it's John, in case you were wondering) never wanted to stop and take a look because we were on vacation and that's not what he considered fun.  Oh, occasionally he'd get lucky and I'd be asleep as he whizzed past Exit 4.  That's when he'd nudge me and say, "Did you want to stop?  Oh, I think we missed the exit."  So, I finally took matters into my own hands and planned a day trip with my sister specifically to go see The Concrete Lady.  Today was the big day.   We arrived around 11:00 and were so excited about our shopping trip that we didn't even mind the soul-crushing heat.  We started off in the fountain section.  I would love to have a fountain; I even have the perfect spot for it.  I'm just not sure I would know how to go about setting it up and, quite honestly, I don't want to learn.  I just want some helpful person to come do that for me. 

Yes, the 12-year-old boy in me thinks this is funny:

Sadly, the polar bear I had admired from afar is no longer available.  
However, I've found a new love:  a concrete, flesh-colored, hand-shaped chair.  
Is that awesome, or what???  
The ONLY reason I didn't buy one today is that it would not fit in my car.  Keep in mind, though, John owns a truck.  That chair will be mine.   

Now, I realize a lot of the stuff there is tacky, but something deep within me really likes it.   

Not this, though:
Instead of Native Americans being offended by sports teams with names such as the Chiefs, Braves, and Redskins, I think their time and effort would be better spent putting a stop to things like that.

Here is the sponsor for tonight's nightmare (shivers):
He didn't scare Sarah.  She's a dental hygienist and always looking for new patients.

Here she is with King Kong.  
She stayed in this position for quite awhile after I took the picture,
 but I'm not really sure what that was about.

I'd really like to meet the person who would buy this one:

The always funny nose-picking troll:

Finally!  Something with class and sophistication:

I guess two living/breathing pugs aren't enough for some folks:

There were so many awesomely tacky items that it is a little overwhelming.  I couldn't even begin to photograph them all, but if you visit their website, you can see a broader selection of what's available. There's also a gift shop with lots of stuff you'll never need or want, but it's interesting to stroll through.  Plus, it is air conditioned.  Their prices are excellent.  I ended up with a reasonable facsimile of the Bird Girl of Savannah for $26 and two planters for $22 each.  

After we loaded up the car, Sarah bought me lunch at Logan's Steakhouse.   What better way to spend a Sunday than tacky lawn ornaments, acting goofy with my sister and a good meal? 

Monday, June 1, 2009

Face in Hole

So, the other day I was reading  Sarah K's blog, and decided to check out her profile picture. I knew it was her face superimposed over Audrey Hepburn's, but I wanted to see how she did it. I enlarged the picture and in the lower right hand corner were the words Face In Hole. Being extremely internet savvy*, I typed into my browser and it was there that I found heaven on earth. Thirty-seven pages of different scenarios in which you can insert your own mug. MORE.FUN.THAN.A.BARREL.OF.MONKEYS.

Here's a sampling of how I spent the next hour (possibly more, but I'm not telling).

I think my face looks weird(er than usual) in this one, but I GET TO WEAR A CROWN!

Not everyone call pull off this look.  I think I can handle it.

This was back when Troy Aikman and I had a thing.  DAY-UM!  I look good.

You know that we are living in a material world, and I am a material girl.

Don't I wish this was real!!!

Insert swine flu jokes here.

I almost peed my pants when I found this one.  Sigh....

Not to mention the fact that it doesn't snore, complain about your driving  or fill up your DVR with Matlock episodes.

*Now, I must be honest here.  I'm not THAT internet savvy.  I actually misread the website in the picture and typed in   Word of advice:  don't do that.