John and I didn't have plans for the BIG DAY, so I thought what could I do that shows how I truly feel about him? I made reservations at White Castle. If the words slider, gut-buster, belly bomb and rectum rocket don't represent 23 years of marriage, I don't know what does. Okay, maybe not the last one. For those of you who do not live in one of the eleven states graced by the presence of White Castle, it's similar to Krystal hamburgers; and if you don't have one of those near you, sorry about your luck. White Castles are delicious little square burgers topped with the perfect amount of onion and pickle, available 24 hours a day. It is the place to go when winding up a night of debauchery. It's also pretty much known for it's hillbilly clientele, which is why I thought it would be perfect for us. I didn't tell John where we were going, and his panicked, "Why are you stopping here?" when I pulled up in front of the restaurant had me re-thinking my decision early. He thought I was taking him out for a steak dinner...oops. STRIKE ONE.
John attempting to be a good sport.
White Castle promotes Valentine's Day dinner with tablecloths, flowers and candles on the table. Imagine my shock and disappointment when this evening did not live up to everything I'd hoped. First of all, the "tablecloth" was not only just plastic, but it was about the cheapest plastic they could find and was taped to the table crookedly. Other tables had candles, but ours didn't, AND we only had one artificial flower in our vase (everyone else had two). STRIKE TWO.
I don't want to be too hard on the kid who waited on us; afterall, he's normally behind the counter, not waiting tables. However, he took our drink order then promptly forgot to bring them to us. He also tried to take our food away while we were still eating. STRIKE THREE.
Despite the lack of ambiance and sub-par service, my appetite was unaffected and I managed to snarf down my dinner:
...and I wonder why I'm fat?
The evening was kind of a let down. I was hoping for some funny redneck encounter, but no such luck. John did suggest we go walk around Walmart after dinner to keep the theme going, but we just rented some movies instead. For the life of me, I can't even remember what they were. I guess I'll have to come up with something pretty special next year.
Oh...If any White Castle execs are reading this, I would like to suggest that for next year they pass candy hearts out to customers after dinner. A sweet remembrance of the evening:
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9 comments:
Nice heart!
I guess living through a disappointing V-Day proves your love is strong. Right? Meh...maybe John will take care of all the planning from now on!
oh..come on! every marriage needs a rectum rocket to keep things spicy! you need more followers. i think you're frickin funny!
If only I could fart, it would bring back many fond White Castle memories>
Uh, maybe John should do the restaurant selection next year. But, I think you should get an A for creativity and John should get an A+ for taking up the theme and suggesting WalMart. This one made me laugh, Becks.
Rectum rockets....ha! We did the WC thing for V-day two years ago. We had a grand experience. A 50-ish gal brought in her portable karaoke machine and sang "Endless Love" and "Unchained Melody". Then they took our pic with a Polaroid Instamatic. Did I mention we drove through 12" of snow to get there?
SEE????? That's exactly the experience I was hoping for!!!
WTH is that stick-looking thing on the plate? And what's John doing with Conway Twitty's hair?
Cary,
It's not like Conway was using it.
That is a mozarella stick. Don't tell me they don't have deep fried cheese in Georgia.
HILARIOUS Beck. And memorable. My son's apartment overlooks a Krystal drive thru (okay, so he was born under a lucky star), and other more important windows overlook the Atlantic Ocean. Somehow when I'm there, I just look out at Krystal and remembe when I actually had fat in my diet.
As for Kelly & Cy's honeymoon... YES! Let's crash it baby. Your Jamaica vacay is coming up soon too, no?
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